Friday, 12 April 2013

Get Me A SENCO Up Here Right Now, Our GATCO is Down and They've Taken The EAL department With Them.

I don't know about any(thing)one else, but it's quite often I find myself in meeting so infected with acronyms and TeachSpeak.com that I have no idea what is going on.


Best Practice: An unobtainable standard that constantly resists precise definition.
Constructive Marking: Using kids' books to build a fort to protect oneself from the constant assault of the real world.
EAL: Educators Articulate Louder
Flipped Classroom: 1) The appearance of a classroom the morning after the staff party. 2) The point where one knows one's classroom management has failed due to chairs and tables being upturned by students.
Gin: Common substitute for water. Drunk by the litre.
GandT: Generally Artistic, Nerdy or Delusional
INSET: Inane, Non-Specific Educational Training
Learning Bicycle: When a class is taught something for a whole lesson, but they do not understand it and therefore the lesson just goes around and around in circles, always returning to the beginning.
Mufty: A way to ensure students are well aware of their social standing and relative affluence by making them pay for the virtue of the clothing they wear everyday. 
OFSTED: Oh Fuck, Shit, They're Entering, Dive
Parent's Evening: A way to ensure that department printing budgets are used up at the end of the month. 
PEP: Piss-Easy and Pointless

Response Marking: Marking a book in order to show that students are making progress by writing targets in line with work that they have already done. Most commonly seen on the night before an OFSTED inspection.
SEN: Generally, An euphemism for 'I don't have a clue what this kid's problem is'
SIMS: Sometimes Informative, Mostly Stalling. 
SLT:  Sarcastic and Light-Timetabled
Twilight INSET: A way of ensuring that staff morale is constantly at a low by forcing staff to cancel appointments with loved ones at the last minute.Commonly forgotten by all

1 comment:

  1. I got big laughs from this. Particularly enjoyed EAL.

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